Lonesomevalley (lonesomevalley) wrote in fakediaries,
Lonesomevalley
lonesomevalley
fakediaries

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Inside

I remember pulling out from the stop sign, then it all went black. I could feel the spinning, the screeching, but somehow the crash never reached my ears...

I'm awake, but I guess I'm too weak to speak. I can't even open my eyes. I need some more rest...

I don't know what they pumped into me, but I just can't wake up. I hope they stop giving it to me. I'm so weak...

I have to try this time. I have to concentrate and make the effort. Open your eyes. Open your eyes. Pull your lids apart! Open your eyes! Blink, at least. Pull them tight. This should be automatic, what's wrong...?

Just lift your finger. Please. Just move it a little. Wiggle something. Are you there? Come on, man, wake up. Feel it. Feel your body. Surge energy through it. Wake up! Wake up! Move! Listen to me...

HELP! HELP! I'M IN HERE! CAN SOMEONE HEAR ME! I'M IN HERE! PLEASE, LISTEN! OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND SPEAK...

Moan, sigh, do something. Please, just let it come out. I can feel my throat. I can feel the air pass through it. Please, God, just open my mouth. Let them know that I'm here...

They only open my eyes to shine a light in them. It's a hospital. All I see is light, white clothes and sad faces. Please don't cry. Just come over and talk to me. I think I can hear you...

Until now, I haven't felt the pain. It feels like my body is still trapped in the car. I feel the pressure on every side. Every bone in my body must be broken. Whatever you had in me, put it back in. I don't want to feel this. Please, God, take it away. Can You still hear me...?

Think away the pain. Think away the pain. Think away the pain...

God, give me enough strength to scream or shout or just to groan. Please, let me let it out. Give me some way out...

The pain is leaving. I can feel a numbed sensation everywhere. Finally, some relief...

I feel something. A tickling. Move my arm. It's driving me crazy, scratch it! Move your arm, you know it's irritating you. Just a quick jerk. Oh no, don't let it be a spider. I hate spiders. GET IT OFF OF ME! GET IT OFF ME! IT'S CRAWLING... I can't feel it. Where is it? Did someone take it off? Why didn't I feel that? Is it still on me? I know it is, but I can't feel it. MOVE! GET IT OFF! GOD...

I don't feel the pain anymore, but there aren't drugs. I simply feel nothing. I'm not tired. I can't sleep. I'm always awake. I can't move. They barely open my eyes anymore. When they do, the sad faces are gone. I'm alone with my thoughts. I can't do anything about them...

I'm going to torture my mind. I'm doing to drive myself insane. I'll numb my mind and make it like my body. Goodbye sad faces. Goodbye spiders. God, I'm coming home. Please bring me home. Please make it stop. Please just drive me crazy so I won't feel anything anymore...
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